Holiday Tips!

 I am a firm believer that “peace” is an important objective in personal healing. With the advent of Christmas holidays, returning to our home environment can be interesting – especially if we are in the process of trying to heal ourselves from some of our family of origin issues. It is a great assessment of how far we have come to notice that our family is doing what they always have done and yet we are not reacting in the same way . Notice this holiday season how powerful is the skill of being un-attached. Notice that you can love everyone and not feel like you have to change, fix or give advice. Feel the joy of appreciating people with all their well intended advice for you and not arguing with them. Setting boundaries is the best way of avoiding conflict. You can politely refuse to drink, to stay at a relative’s place, to tolerate abusive behaviour and language. You can do all of this in a way that does not invoke argument. If your family is truly toxic, you can make a visit brief or no visit and surround yourself with a “family” that nurtures you.   Often a good barometer of our own healing is our ability to return to a situation that would have “triggered” us in the past and realize that no one has changed, but you are calm. It seems obvious, but healing ourselves does not require other people to change. That is why it is so empowering.